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Crunk and Disorderly


An American is stirring up trouble in the UK. It’s not some out-of-control tourist though, or even an ex-pat one-word-named musician. It’s a drink. In a can.

It’s pint-sized, literally, but the punch packs a... punch. It’s “strong as wine” and spiked with caffeine and ginseng, giving it the drinker the same wings as a can of Red Bull.

British police say the American-made "premium malt liquor" has led to “a rise in violence.” The drink’s UK distributor, Uncle Charley’s, says it “...makes you drunk, but so do most drinks. You will always get idiots that go too far.” Good old Uncle Charley! He was always the life of the family reunion, getting the little tikes blitzed before the three-legged race and then proclaiming his innocence.

In this case, Uncle Charley is right though. Really, who could expect people to use the product immoderately? Especially with a name like “Crunk Juce.” That just screams “Use me responsibly, perhaps just half a can with dinner.”